Helpin’ a Brother Out

I’m writing to all you young mommas out there. Let me clue you in just for a minute. Your sweet, devoted, new daddy of a husband does NOT want to go to the grocery store with you. (You’re welcome, new dads.)

He may say, “Sure, sweetie – I’d love to go to Kroger while Duke is playing basketball,” or “You bet – I’d much rather roam the aisles of Publix with you than see if Rory will make the cut this week,” but he doesn’t really mean those sugary sweet sappy words flowing from his new daddy mouth.

He doesn’t.

Truth be told, he’s agreeing to whatever is on your new momma agenda because he is absolutely terrified of the postpartum hormones surging through your body. He knows the gunpowder keg is full, the fuse is short, and he walks around day after day with a lit match in his hands hoping he doesn’t drop it near your extremely short fuse.

New mommas will argue this point making statements such as, “Aren’t we supposed to do everything together as a new family?” (NO) “Doesn’t he enjoy spending time with me and our new baby?” (NOT AT KROGER) “Don’t you realize he doesn’t care as much about _____________________ (insert favorite sport in the blank) now that we have a baby?” (WHO ARE YOU KIDDING)

Give a brother a break, why don’t you.

You might be wondering what in the world prompted me to write such a post. Now that I’m back to being a working momma, I do the one thing I vowed I’d never do again unless it was absolutely necessary. That one thing would be going to the grocery store on a Saturday.

grocery

Yep, I’ve had to break my own vow and head out to Publix or Kroger on a Saturday morning, and it is there that I see new dad after new dad halfway slumped over a grocery store cart, his head mere inches above his new baby’s spasticly kicking legs, slowly prodding down every aisle after the young momma like a sleepy old dog on a very short leash as she ponders whether to buy pureed sweet potatoes or mashed up peas for that precious new bundle of joy in the cart.

I’m not sure why young mommas (or any age mommas – or any woman at all for that matter) want their significant other on a grocery store run with them. I’ll do just about anything to go by myself because having my husband go with me is like having an out of control appendage to keep up with while I’m there. It’s attached, and I should be in control of it, but it goes wherever it wants and picks up items not on the OGL – the Official Grocery List. (“Where’d he go? Where’s the cart? Why are you at the other end of the aisle? No we are not getting that – because it’s not on sale and I don’t have a coupon, that’s why…”) It’s not fun to go with me. I’m on a mission and I’m a real, “Nope. Not in the grocery budget” kind of buzz killer, not unless it’s a buy one get one or I’ve got $1.00 off coupon in my purse.

I know, I know – what in the world does this have to do with Jesus? Not a lot, really. Not a lot except I’m a little older (ok a lot older), a little wiser than most (not all) new mommas, and I’ve learned some things along the way that I think would help new mommas out, like don’t make your new daddy husband go to the grocery store with you (or make his experience so painful he’ll never ask to go with you again).

We all need people in our lives to give us some perspective, to help us see things we don’t see in our own lives. We need older, wiser people in out lives to give us sound wisdom and guidance so that we take as few wrong turns as possible along the way.

The book of Proverbs is full of verses on wisdom. “A wise son heeds his father’s instruction,” (Proverbs 13:1) “…but wisdom is found in those who take advice,” (13:10) “He who walks with the wise grows wise.” (13:20)

I’m blessed to have both my parents still living, still married to each other, and they live on the street behind me. Many would say I’m spoiled, and I’m not arguing that point. It’s been very easy for me to ask one of them, “What would you do?” and get a pretty solid answer, anything from “Do you think she has colic?” to “Which fridge should we buy?” to “How did y’all pay for college and still have money leftover to eat?”

Maybe your parents don’t live close by. Or maybe they do but their advice ain’t the greatest. My suggestion is to seek out older members of your church – ones who have been around the block a time or two and have weathered a few storms, and ask them your “What would you do” questions. Their wisdom may just save you from making a mistake – silly or devastating.

And I’ll see all you new mommas – WITHOUT the new daddies – at Publix next Saturday!

Blessings!
Leigh

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